guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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