Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
