I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
