Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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