I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You don't make any sense
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