I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
