can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Randomize
