VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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