redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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