If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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