true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
