It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams