It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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