I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
