Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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