Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am naked and annoyed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize