Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
