Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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