So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
