I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
