drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
