Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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