fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
