He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize