This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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