Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
