i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
