You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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