so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
