FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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