Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
