i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
