My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
