You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
