I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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