is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
