is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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