One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Operation Purity has been aborted
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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