Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Houston, we have a blender
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
