dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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