if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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