I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
