I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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