Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
