it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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