good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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