porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
