Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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