she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
