If i come over, it means nothing
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
