she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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