Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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