adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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