I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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