dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
