You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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