I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
