I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My ass is underappreciated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
