as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
