honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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