I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize