Don't you send me to vm
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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