When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
