what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
