9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
