were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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