Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
