If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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